No one wants to be lonely, unfulfilled, empty and sad.

We want to find love.

So we keep working to get our relationships right.

The interest in all things relationships is very high. My relationship articles are some of the most popular ones (besides the jade egg one).

As women we often feel like we need to do something to attract and keep that perfect partner, we need to change ourselves, and maybe do some things which don’t really feel authentic, but “well, so what, now I will do this for him, but then he will love me, and he will notice me and we will be happy ever after”.

There are lots of self-help books with titles like “How to get married” or “How to be a perfect wife”… And this stuff sells really well.

The advice is usually along the lines of: do whatever he wants, praise him for all the great things he does for you, be a nice woman, think about him a lot, try to predict what he would like, accept him no matter what he does…

But some of us have never bought these self-help books and yet we all either have heard that advice, or picked it up elsewhere.

One thing is certain: if a woman is spending time with a man trying to serve him as a way of keeping him, this whole thing won’t last. He will leave, and soon. Even if the girl has a pretty face. That pretty face will become more and more bitter if she keeps playing that game.

This type of serving is first of all a way to hide ourselves. We won’t express what we really feel, what’s hurting us, we will swallow things, stay polite.

Often it is deeply ingrained, and perhaps even reading this you won’t recognise yourself. But God I wish someone had pointed it out to me in my early twenties.

I also like to call it “the nice girl syndrome”.

 

…read the whole article here.