I’ve been reflecting on how different I am while in a relationship vs while single.
I am a split definition in Human Design, and as much as I dislike to categorise people using astrology and other systems, understanding this split thing helped me understand my personality.
[According to Human Design – a system of understanding personality, some people don’t have gaps in energy channels that connect their major energy centres, and hence their charts are referred to as single definition. Other people have a split, a double or even triple split. The people whose profile have the split (one or two) are more prone to becoming co-dependent in relationships. (Apparently, it’s totally different with triple split)]
I don’t think single definition people can ever understand this. But when you are a split… you feel more like yourself when you are with another, who bridges your split.
Like, the whole yoga is out of equation. The whole sovereignty. The whole non-attachment…
I feel more like me when I’m with you! Voila!
And that’s pretty fucked, I have to say.
Because when you’re not there… guess what happens…. all I can do is think of you.
Human Design says: that’s how you are, just accept this and relax.
Anyway, that’s the romantic story of my life (that’s if any of you thought I was a superwoman – as much as I’d like to be, I’m… not. I’m just as messed up as everyone else.)
I’m still refusing to fall victim to this (I was joking, I AM a superwoman!), and I constantly look for ways to hack the system.
Every now and then I succeed. Actually. (My students have to giggle here, I can hear you!)
It’s been my lifelong exploration: how to not get lost in love.
I‘ve developed lots of practices for that. We do heaps of them at the Priestess School. I’m going to speak on stage about these things too. But I’ll let you in on a secret.
The best way to not get lost in love is… to get lost in love!
It also means the sacred temple, the gateway to the Universe and the Source. When we hear people speak about feminine empowerment, there are so many concepts around it, but not many people speak about the relationship of a woman to her vulva, her vagina, her yoni. Yet, that’s where the feminine empowerment should start. So many women don’t have a deep love and connection with their yoni.
Yoni has been shamed for centuries. She was labeled as stinky, ugly, disgusting area “down there”. This disconnect is the REAL cause of common issues such as low libido, recurring infections, PCOS, uterine prolapse, endometriosis, menstrual cramps, excessive bleeding and others. Many yonis hardly receive any loving touch… And even less receive praise and are looked at with awe and admiration. Most yonis are not appreciated for the magical and mystical place they really are. Without that, our yonis fall asleep. Or sometimes they even fall into a coma. When we activate the yoni and our connection to her we start owning our power. We start accessing her intuition… And her intuition is always spot on.
In order to enable humankind to fulfil its highest destiny we need awakened beings to rise and act true to the calling of their Soul.
Awakening, finding and living this calling is what the Priestess School is dedicated to.
The question is:
Do you dare to commit to your true calling?
If you are new to my work, then this will be a good little intro. If you’ve been around for a while (perhaps even from the moment I started sending out these love letters in 2014!) – here’s where I’m currently landed 🙂
I founded the Priestess School in 2017. The School is a culmination of nearly a decade of my work with women. The School consists of 5 modules, each module lasting one week (apart from module 4 which goes on for 10 days).
The first module has received a reputation of being a “washing machine”, because it helps clear the murky and unconscious conditioning that women carry around concerning what it means to be a woman, and it is necessary to have a close look at that, so that Greatness can shine through. In this module women work with their shadow, learn to be-friend their emotions, their eroticism, their natural cycles; they also discover the science of the dynamic of attraction, meet the great mother Kali and fall in love with the process of Transformation. Women also discover what is their true Gift to the world, and get empowered to carry this gift with dignity and ownership.
The second module is where women start “stretching”. This module is called Activate Your Erotic Wisdom and this is a deep dive into eroticism and sexual liberation for women in a very safe environment of healing and empowerment.
The third module is when we invite men to join the temple. They have a training that runs in parallel to the women’s one and we all work on Activating the Warrior, and the Highest way of meeting between the Masculine and Feminine.
The fourth module is called the Great Work of the Soul, and this is when we go on a pilgrimage to an ancient Egyptian temple and collect the memories and codes necessary for us to hold the point for the birth of the New World.
The fifth module is the Leadership Training and it is an invitation only program that enables people to facilitate this work.
The misconceptions are understandable.
As soon as we open the door to sexual energy, we open the door to something incredibly powerful and incredibly intense. This intensity makes it very hard to stay on the tiger. It’s very hard to ride it without falling off of it and letting it take over.
That’s why in the past Tantric teachings were only available to select few and only after they’d spend 12 years with their Master.
I believe that time is accelerated now. Our frequency is faster, we have immense opportunities, that come to us at a much faster speed.
And the greatest of them is to awaken.
The best scenario is to arrive to sexual practices AFTER you have done a lot of work on developing your consciousness. But many people are drawn to tantra BEFORE that because they are attracted to the sexual aspect of it.
Yes, Tantra can give you a taste of pleasure beyond what you could have ever imagined.
Most people get so fascinated by this pleasure, they cannot get enough of it, it becomes a drug… You keep seeking more: more powerful experiences, more excitement, more joy… But this is what pulls you off track.
While it’s fine and even recommended to have phases of re-claiming your pleasure, of exploring your desires… it’s easy to get stuck there. And miss the point.
Through pleasure Tantra invites us way beyond pleasure.
Through fully arriving in the body, activating your senses, deeply living the human experience with ALL of its flavours (not only the pleasant, but also the challenging, painful, confusing and ugly…), we are invited to discover something profound.
In Tantra we are invited to discover the Truth of all things.
The Truth is not something changeable. The Truth is what we have to wake up to. The Truth is true essence of all things.
From the moment we see the Truth we start truly living and choosing.
Until then we are merely following our conditioned response to life, even though we may think that we act from free will.
There are many women who think that their libido is very low, but in most cases it is just the result of trying to have sex in a masculine way.
Most of these women are trying to get into penetrative sex before they are fully aroused.
Generally speaking, the male arousal is a yang type of arousal. And the female arousal is a yin type of arousal.
It means that masculine sexual energy is like fire, it ignites in the centre (the penis) and after that spreads out.
And the feminine sexual energy is like water – it is collected from the edges, the limbs, from the heart and flows to the centre (the vagina).
Men’s lingam can be touched without much foreplay. It is actually very nice to connect with the lingam first and then continue by spreading the pleasure and activating his chest, belly and limbs.
In the case of women the yin energy proceeds from the edges, gradually moving inward and flowing downward towards the sex centre. The yin energy needs to pass through the heart centre before it descends lower.
That’s why women find it generally harder to separate sex from love.
Most women need to feel connected and safe, they need to feel their heart open before they can open up sexually.
Which is not always the case for men. They can have sex with someone without much of an emotional or heart connection.
Yoni and heart are similar — neither can be forced to open. You can’t force yourself to fall in love, and you can’t open your body by force.