There are many women who think that their libido is very low, but in most cases it is just the result of trying to have sex in a masculine way.
Most of these women are trying to get into penetrative sex before they are fully aroused.
Generally speaking, the male arousal is a yang type of arousal. And the female arousal is a yin type of arousal.
It means that masculine sexual energy is like fire, it ignites in the centre (the penis) and after that spreads out.
And the feminine sexual energy is like water – it is collected from the edges, the limbs, from the heart and flows to the centre (the vagina).
Men’s lingam can be touched without much foreplay. It is actually very nice to connect with the lingam first and then continue by spreading the pleasure and activating his chest, belly and limbs.
In the case of women the yin energy proceeds from the edges, gradually moving inward and flowing downward towards the sex centre. The yin energy needs to pass through the heart centre before it descends lower.
That’s why women find it generally harder to separate sex from love.
Most women need to feel connected and safe, they need to feel their heart open before they can open up sexually.
Which is not always the case for men. They can have sex with someone without much of an emotional or heart connection.
Yoni and heart are similar — neither can be forced to open. You can’t force yourself to fall in love, and you can’t open your body by force.
Including those who have practiced with authentic carriers of this ancient wisdom.
The misconceptions are understandable.
As soon as we open the door to sexual energy, we open the door to something incredibly powerful and incredibly intense. This intensity makes it very hard to stay on the tiger. It’s very hard to ride it without falling off of it and letting it take over.
That’s why in the past Tantric teachings were only available to a select few and only after they’d spent 12 years with their Master.
I believe that time is accelerating now. Our frequency is faster, we have immense opportunities, and they come to us at a much faster speed.
And the greatest of them is to awaken.
The best scenario is to arrive to sexual practices AFTER you have done a lot of work on developing your consciousness. But many people are drawn to Tantra BEFORE that because they are attracted to the sexual aspect of it.
Yes, Tantra can give you a taste of pleasure beyond what you could have ever imagined.
Most people get so fascinated by this pleasure, they cannot get enough of it, it becomes a drug… You keep seeking more: more powerful experiences, more excitement, more joy…
But this is what pulls you off track.
While it’s fine and even recommended to have phases of re-claiming your pleasure, of exploring your desires… it’s easy to get stuck there. And miss the point.
Today many people know me as an international Tantra teacher, a woman who initiates incredibly important yet at times very uncomfortable conversations about sexuality, who holds training sessions in some of the most stunning locations in the world, someone who is traveling the world and living her passion. I am financially sovereign and free to be wherever in the world I want to be, I am surrounded by amazing people and I create environments of openness and heart connection.
But I want you to know that I’ve come a long way. Ten years ago I was still living in Moscow and working as a lawyer. Even though I spent 5 years in a law school, I never felt I belonged to that lifestyle. I felt that I was stuck inside a box in the office and I never felt that I was meant to live that way…
I kept trying to have meaningful relationships, but kept being disappointed, feeling unappreciated, unmet, and generally my self esteem was pretty low.
Fast forward to the time when I first discovered Tantra. I remember being in a class together with 100 people… The teacher was sharing about the sacredness of our pleasure, of our desires… He was saying that we can meet our divinity through sex… I was stunned. I remember thinking to myself: “I have always known this. How could I have forgotten?…”
A few months ago I started something that I call a Relationships Fast.
It’s been a very insightful time.
It is incredible to zoom in specifically on seduction. So much of our lives revolves around seduction.
And I want to share four of my findings with you because I believe that I am touching upon a global phenomenon.
1. Seduction is a global phenomenon, one that is often hidden in total darkness, where we cannot see it.
When I wake up in the morning and choose my clothes, the way I look at myself in the mirror, the way I walk, the way I talk… Everything by default is infused by a subtle question: “Am I desirable, do people like me?”, and a subtle agenda… to seduce!
This is so subtle and so deeply engrained, it is easy to overlook it.
But once we see it, it is obvious that this way of moving in the world takes a lot of energy!
It is incredibly liberating to see those patterns, and actually drop them.
Because wherever in our life we act unconsciously – we are giving away our power and our freedom.
As I have been cutting the tendency to unconscious pulling, I have noticed how perplexed it leaves other people: “Really, you don’t want to play with me?”
Because it’s not only me, it’s the way humanity operates. Pushing, pulling, playing, calculating, responding to text messages with a delay, ignoring someone on purpose… you name it!
2. Seduction is based on the fear of missing out on love
I know that the subject of this article might sound completely “out there” for many. On the other hand I can’t really imagine anyone not being (at least a little bit) intrigued!
And I will start with this: You can have it all. Anything you want, you can have.
I am not saying this lightly. I absolutely mean this, because this is what is happening in my own life, and in the lives of my students all over the world.
And trust me: it’s not some kind of “hippie stuff”.
I know some highly successful people in this world. I can divide them into two categories:
Those who shine from inside out
And those who don’t
This difference is due to the fact that most highly successful people achieve their success by compromising on the joy and pleasure in their lives. They work hard, but they don’t play. Or they play in ways that don’t foster connection, they just go out and have a few drinks to disassociate themselves from the stress. Which does nothing but numb them out.