There are many women who think that their libido is very low, but in most cases it is just the result of trying to have sex in a masculine way.
Most of these women are trying to get into penetrative sex before they are fully aroused.
Generally speaking, the male arousal is a yang type of arousal. And the female arousal is a yin type of arousal.
It means that masculine sexual energy is like fire, it ignites in the centre (the penis) and after that spreads out.
And the feminine sexual energy is like water – it is collected from the edges, the limbs, from the heart and flows to the centre (the vagina).
Men’s lingam can be touched without much foreplay. It is actually very nice to connect with the lingam first and then continue by spreading the pleasure and activating his chest, belly and limbs.
In the case of women the yin energy proceeds from the edges, gradually moving inward and flowing downward towards the sex centre. The yin energy needs to pass through the heart centre before it descends lower.
That’s why women find it generally harder to separate sex from love.
Most women need to feel connected and safe, they need to feel their heart open before they can open up sexually.
Which is not always the case for men. They can have sex with someone without much of an emotional or heart connection.
Yoni and heart are similar — neither can be forced to open. You can’t force yourself to fall in love, and you can’t open your body by force.
…read more here.
Art by @ellysmallwood
Most people completely misunderstand Tantra.
Including those who have practiced with authentic carriers of this ancient wisdom.
The misconceptions are understandable.
As soon as we open the door to sexual energy, we open the door to something incredibly powerful and incredibly intense. This intensity makes it very hard to stay on the tiger. It’s very hard to ride it without falling off of it and letting it take over.
That’s why in the past Tantric teachings were only available to a select few and only after they’d spent 12 years with their Master.
I believe that time is accelerating now. Our frequency is faster, we have immense opportunities, and they come to us at a much faster speed.
And the greatest of them is to awaken.
The best scenario is to arrive to sexual practices AFTER you have done a lot of work on developing your consciousness. But many people are drawn to Tantra BEFORE that because they are attracted to the sexual aspect of it.
Yes, Tantra can give you a taste of pleasure beyond what you could have ever imagined.
Most people get so fascinated by this pleasure, they cannot get enough of it, it becomes a drug… You keep seeking more: more powerful experiences, more excitement, more joy…
But this is what pulls you off track.
While it’s fine and even recommended to have phases of re-claiming your pleasure, of exploring your desires… it’s easy to get stuck there. And miss the point.
…read more here.
I am listening. I hear the call.
And this is my response to your question: “What is a Yoni massage?”
I always felt that there must be more than just the reproductive, gynaecological or random sexual approach to a woman’s vagina. I think all women intuitively know that, at least from my experience by giving tantric Yoni massages over the last 2 years.
I will tell you in a minute how I got there, but first let’s clarify some things.
What is a tantric Yoni massage?
The Sanskrit word Tantra means “Expansion.” Tantra is an ancient spiritual tradition that can reveal the divine being that you truly are through a holistic lifestyle, meditation practices and sacred sexuality.
Yoni massage is one of the most powerful tantric tools I know of for worshipping a woman’s vagina with the highest love and respect. Yoni is the Sanskrit word for Vagina, meaning “sacred space”.
It offers women a profound and direct feminine embodied experience that transforms their lives. Yoni massage is a ritual that truly honours a woman and her whole sensual being.
During a Yoni massage a woman can allow herself to receive, learning to trust and fully surrender through sacred touch and loving awareness. She can experience deep relaxation, mystical states of pleasure and orgasmic bliss.
Yoni massage helps women to release trauma, numbness, pain, stored emotions, and creates a new healthy love affair towards their femininity and Yoni’s.
How did I get from working the corporate world to giving tantric Yoni massages?
I was disconnected from my own femininity, self-love and sexuality for most of my life. I was pretty much unorgasmic, afraid of deep intimacy and my relationship with my Yoni was not very loving at all.
I was supressing my sexual energy, which is basically our life force energy, until it turned against me and burned me completely out. I was trying to fill my lack of connection with myself by constantly overworking, abuse of alcohol, drugs, and unhealthy intimate relationships.
I couldn’t feel anything anymore, especially not my Yoni.
As I came across Tantra for the first time in India, my life completely changed. It reminded me of the divine being that I am and helped me to embrace my body, spirit and sexuality as one and not separate from each other.
I will always remember my first Yoni massage. I was excited and scared, and this mixture is absolutely normal for most women. I chose to go to a woman as this felt much more comfortable and safe for me at the beginning.
After my first session I felt worshipped, honoured in my femininity, loved, nourished, fully alive and whole as a woman. Many sessions followed, each very unique, magical and transformative.
A spontaneous response I often hear from women after a session is: “Every woman need to receive a Yoni massage.” I agree, as a woman.
As I did my Yoni massage training, I felt like being in an ancient temple, sharing this healing art with 25 other Priestesses. I was inhaling and remembering all the sacred knowledge. I felt that I had done this work before and I came here to bring it back into light.
Sexual energy is healing. It is the most natural medicine in the world. I remember I came to this course with a beginning of a really bad cold and it was gone on day two.
Why the feminine needs sexual healing?
Women are still influenced by centuries of patriarchal repression, conditioning, shame and guilt around being women- their bodies and their sexuality. Through Feminism we managed to liberate ourselves from the outside by living our sexuality freely, but most women don’t feel truly released from within.
We are lacking education. Porn shows us what a woman’s vagina should look like and how she “works”.
We trust doctors more than ourselves. Some of my clients are gynecologists and midwifes, and after their first session they often say that they discovered so many areas of their Yoni they had never been aware of.
We show our Yoni’s to our intimate partners, some of them we just met a couple of hours before. But have you ever had a deeper look at your Yoni yourself?
Take a mirror and look at her. This is homework I highly recommend.
Many women ask me if their Yoni is normal. Yes she is!
She is absolutely beautiful, magical and divine. Each Yoni is so different- like a flower. It is empowering to claim your feminine power back and see your Yoni as a natural part of your body. The most sacred one!
We also go for a foot massage, right? Why not dedicate time and energy for our most delicate space.
What will I get out of a Yoni massage session?
As in other parts of our bodies, we tend to carry a lot of tension, emotions and memories in our Yonis. She is so receptive and absorbs everything like a sponge.
If there is no blood and energy flow, we usually experience numbness. This is a very common reason why women come for a Yoni massage.
When I talk about stored memories I not only mean severe sexual traumas but also the smaller and more unconscious moments of a woman’s life, where we haven’t taken care of our Yonis or where our boundaries have been crossed. An unpleasant first intercourse, every encounter without her being really ready for
it, every pleased YES that would have been a honest NO.
Painful childbirth, surgeries or the regular pap smear what many of us don’t like for a good reason.
Everything we don’t want to feel we push “down” into our Yonis. It makes me sad when I hear a woman talking about her Yoni as “down there,” as if she would not be a part of her body.
Many women have been sexually abused or carry trauma from the generation of their mother lineages before. We can talk a million times about it and bless psychotherapy, as it has its own place, but the memory will still be stored in our cells.
Through Yoni massage you will learn about your feminine sexuality and bring new awareness to areas where sexual pleasure is available.
By healing trauma, shame, guilt and negative believes that you may have regarding your Yoni and
your sexual energy you open the gate for deep fulfilling orgasm’s.
As you take responsibility for your own sexual wellbeing, you will enhance self-esteem, creativity and deepen your sense of intimacy with yourself and others.
How to find the right therapist?
There are a variety of modalities like tantric Yoni massages, Yoni mapping or de-armouring. And every therapist works differently.
The main qualities I find very important from my own experience are presence, integrity and an open heart and mind. Trust your intuition and ask friends or other women for recommendations.
A professional therapist will talk with you about your needs, desires and boundaries that you have before the session. And I have to make an important note here: Yoni massage does not involve intercourse!
What’s happening in detail?
A woman needs to feel safe and loved to fully open. For this to happen the whole body of a woman is worshiped fist.
A tantric Yoni massage generally starts with mediation, eye gazing or some breathing. Followed by a full body massage where the woman can just relax, allowing her self to surrender and fully receive.
It’s good to communicate how certain strokes feel, if she wants more or less pressure, or if anything is coming up emotionally. A Yoni massage has no goal at all.
There is nothing to achieve, change or fix. Whatever a woman is experiencing is absolutely perfect and welcome.
Before I begin to touch the Yoni, I always ask my clients for permission. This is a very important and empowering part of the ritual.
The Yoni likes to be approached gently from the outside to the inside through different kinds of touch, pressure and movements. By leading with presence, moving slowly and listening deeply to what is needed in any moment the ordinary magic of tantric healing is happening.
Why Yoni massage will change the world?
In the same way we honour our Yonis, the seat of the divine, we honour the earth, the giver of all life. How we treat her shows how we care for the feminine in our lives.
When we begin to express gratitude for the beauty of nature and our precious bodies, we begin to honour the Great Mother of all existence. Yoni massage helps us to remember who we truly are as women.
It creates intimacy and opens us to experience a deeper connection with our self, our partner and the world.
If a man commit to really love, value and worship the Yoni of a woman, he will not only give the woman and himself a great gift, he will also change the whole world.
Today many people know me as an international Tantra teacher, a woman who initiates incredibly important yet at times very uncomfortable conversations about sexuality, who holds training sessions in some of the most stunning locations in the world, someone who is traveling the world and living her passion. I am financially sovereign and free to be wherever in the world I want to be, I am surrounded by amazing people and I create environments of openness and heart connection.
But I want you to know that I’ve come a long way. Ten years ago I was still living in Moscow and working as a lawyer. Even though I spent 5 years in a law school, I never felt I belonged to that lifestyle. I felt that I was stuck inside a box in the office and I never felt that I was meant to live that way…
I kept trying to have meaningful relationships, but kept being disappointed, feeling unappreciated, unmet, and generally my self esteem was pretty low.
Fast forward to the time when I first discovered Tantra. I remember being in a class together with 100 people… The teacher was sharing about the sacredness of our pleasure, of our desires… He was saying that we can meet our divinity through sex… I was stunned. I remember thinking to myself: “I have always known this. How could I have forgotten?…”
…read more here.
A few months ago I started something that I call a Relationships Fast.
It’s been a very insightful time.
It is incredible to zoom in specifically on seduction. So much of our lives revolves around seduction.
And I want to share four of my findings with you because I believe that I am touching upon a global phenomenon.
1. Seduction is a global phenomenon, one that is often hidden in total darkness, where we cannot see it.
When I wake up in the morning and choose my clothes, the way I look at myself in the mirror, the way I walk, the way I talk… Everything by default is infused by a subtle question: “Am I desirable, do people like me?”, and a subtle agenda… to seduce!
This is so subtle and so deeply engrained, it is easy to overlook it.
But once we see it, it is obvious that this way of moving in the world takes a lot of energy!
It is incredibly liberating to see those patterns, and actually drop them.
Because wherever in our life we act unconsciously – we are giving away our power and our freedom.
As I have been cutting the tendency to unconscious pulling, I have noticed how perplexed it leaves other people: “Really, you don’t want to play with me?”
Because it’s not only me, it’s the way humanity operates. Pushing, pulling, playing, calculating, responding to text messages with a delay, ignoring someone on purpose… you name it!
2. Seduction is based on the fear of missing out on love
…read more here.
I know that the subject of this article might sound completely “out there” for many. On the other hand I can’t really imagine anyone not being (at least a little bit) intrigued!
And I will start with this: You can have it all. Anything you want, you can have.
I am not saying this lightly. I absolutely mean this, because this is what is happening in my own life, and in the lives of my students all over the world.
And trust me: it’s not some kind of “hippie stuff”.
I know some highly successful people in this world. I can divide them into two categories:
- Those who shine from inside out
- And those who don’t
This difference is due to the fact that most highly successful people achieve their success by compromising on the joy and pleasure in their lives. They work hard, but they don’t play. Or they play in ways that don’t foster connection, they just go out and have a few drinks to disassociate themselves from the stress. Which does nothing but numb them out.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
…read more here.
Photo by Katarina Baliova