CLOSING A RELATIONSHIP

CLOSING A RELATIONSHIP

Closing a relationship/separation, be it with someone you spent only one night with – or perhaps it was even years – is a subject we don’t tend to address, because we prefer to focus on the relationship when it’s fresh and juicy. When it’s time to part ways we are normally either full of resentment and want to end it as soon as possible, or we simply hope it will never happen.

Well, statistics show that it probably will. If not by choice, then eventually death will part us. And it doesn’t have to be ugly and messy.

We may think: “Whatever, it was just a short encounter, it’s obvious that we were never going to be a long-term match ”.

However we need to realize that NOTHING IS OBVIOUS. And be daring enough to bring clarity, to be courageous about closing it consciously.

What usually happens is that one partner withdraws, and hopes that the other one will get it, eventually. While at the same time the other one is trying to save the relationship, or is perplexed and crushed.

I am definitely guilty of premature withdrawal. I’ve done it more than once and ended up hurting someone I loved and still love a lot.  I have also experienced being on the other side of it: feeling like I’ve been dissed and ghosted. In fact I went into a deep process around it, and this writing came out of it.

I received this message recently: “I’ve been dating a woman for a month, but after we had sex for the first time, she stopped texting me back. Any ideas why?” – Jacob, USA

The woman obviously had no idea how to close it with him, which made Jacob go on a rollercoaster, thinking of all the reasons why she didn’t connect with him: “She must be really busy with work. She lost her phone. She is giving me space.”

Then uncertainty and self-doubt kick in: “Am I bad in bed? Did I say/do something wrong? Am I not attractive? Am I unlovable?”

Sounds familiar?

He then goes on imagining stuff, which is likely to be much worse than what is really happening.

In reality she is just another emotional handicap, like most people. And we cannot even blame each other; no-one ever taught us about these things.

…read more here.

CLOSING A RELATIONSHIP

THE ART OF CONSCIOUS PULLING OUT. PART 2: CLOSING A RELATIONSHIP

Closing a relationship/separation, be it with someone you spent only one night with – or perhaps it was even years – is a subject we don’t tend to address, because we prefer to focus on the relationship when it’s fresh and juicy. When it’s time to part ways we are normally either full of resentment and want to end it as soon as possible, or we simply hope it will never happen.

Well, statistics show that it probably will. If not by choice, then eventually death will part us. And it doesn’t have to be ugly and messy.

We may think: “Whatever, it was just a short encounter, it’s obvious that we were never going to be a long-term match ”.

However we need to realize that NOTHING IS OBVIOUS. And be daring enough to bring clarity, to be courageous about closing it consciously.

What usually happens is that one partner withdraws, and hopes that the other one will get it, eventually. While at the same time the other one is trying to save the relationship, or is perplexed and crushed.

I am definitely guilty of premature withdrawal. I’ve done it more than once and ended up hurting someone I loved and still love a lot.  I have also experienced being on the other side of it: feeling like I’ve been dissed and ghosted. In fact I went into a deep process around it, and this writing came out of it.

I received this message recently: “I’ve been dating a woman for a month, but after we had sex for the first time, she stopped texting me back. Any ideas why?” – Jacob, USA

The woman obviously had no idea how to close it with him, which made Jacob go on a rollercoaster, thinking of all the reasons why she didn’t connect with him: “She must be really busy with work. She lost her phone. She is giving me space.”

…read more here.

Art by @_psyrealism_

ENDING MY SEDUCTION GAMES

ENDING MY SEDUCTION GAMES

A few months ago I started something that I call a Relationships Fast.

It’s been a very insightful time.

It is incredible to zoom in specifically on seduction. So much of our lives revolves around seduction.

And I want to share four of my findings with you because I believe that I am touching upon a global phenomenon.

1. Seduction is a global phenomenon, one that is often hidden in total darkness, where we cannot see it.

When I wake up in the morning and choose my clothes, the way I look at myself in the mirror, the way I walk, the way I talk… Everything by default is infused by a subtle question: “Am I desirable, do people like me?”, and a subtle agenda… to seduce!

This is so subtle and so deeply engrained, it is easy to overlook it.

But once we see it, it is obvious that this way of moving in the world takes a lot of energy!

It is incredibly liberating to see those patterns, and actually drop them.

Because wherever in our life we act unconsciously – we are giving away our power and our freedom.

As I have been cutting the tendency to unconscious pulling, I have noticed how perplexed it leaves other people: “Really, you don’t want to play with me?”

Because it’s not only me, it’s the way humanity operates. Pushing, pulling, playing, calculating, responding to text messages with a delay, ignoring someone on purpose… you name it!

2. Seduction is based on the fear of missing out on love

…read more here.

HOW TO MANIFEST ANYTHING YOU WANT USING THE POWER OF YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY

HOW TO MANIFEST ANYTHING YOU WANT USING THE POWER OF YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY

I know that the subject of this article might sound completely “out there” for many. On the other hand I can’t really imagine anyone not being (at least a little bit) intrigued!

And I will start with this: You can have it all. Anything you want, you can have.

I am not saying this lightly. I absolutely mean this, because this is what is happening in my own life, and in the lives of my students all over the world.

And trust me: it’s not some kind of “hippie stuff”.

I know some highly successful people in this world. I can divide them into two categories:

  1. Those who shine from inside out
  2. And those who don’t

This difference is due to the fact that most highly successful people achieve their success by compromising on the joy and pleasure in their lives. They work hard, but they don’t play. Or they play in ways that don’t foster connection, they just go out and have a few drinks to disassociate themselves from the stress. Which does nothing but numb them out.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

…read more here.

Photo by Katarina Baliova

HONOURING THE WARRIOR

HONOURING THE WARRIOR

Women have a very sacred place within them. It’s called the womb.

Simply physiologically speaking, it is a pretty incredible place. Think about it: a woman can receive a seed and convert it into a human.

A woman can receive a soul and convert it into a human.

Fascinating.

 

And as if that were not enough, there is even more magic to the womb.

Energetically the womb is a powerhouse. It generates energy.

It also can open, invite and contain.

A womb can hold.

Women who don’t  have a physical womb still have all the power of their energetic womb.

In some spiritual traditions it is said that a woman has a bigger capacity for high states of consciousness because she has access to the power of her womb.

What is incredibly powerful is a woman who owns the magic of her womb.

This woman is a healer.

She can offer an energetic presence that is incredibly nourishing. It’s a power of motherhood that doesn’t mean that you need to be a mother who has given birth.

We have this capacity regardless of whether we choose to have children or not.

A woman can be a mother to all children.

A woman can act as a nest. As a cradle.

…read more here.

HOW CAN YOU INTRODUCE YOUR PARTNER TO TANTRA?

HOW CAN YOU INTRODUCE YOUR PARTNER TO TANTRA?

I know how common it is in couples: one partner gets very excited about something and wants to bring something fresh into the relationship, and the other partner is… well, resisting.

And if you have ever felt into Tantra, if you have become intrigued by it, if you have thought there might be something in it for you, something that could possibly create a lot of magic in your life…. If you have been following me for some time and been inspired by my content and you have the desire to try it out… I know that you definitely would like to invite your partner on this journey with you.

And one day you approach your partner and share about Tantra, but they express no interest in it whatsoever, or they even tell you that it’s a bunch of nonsense and you shouldn’t even try it by yourself.

You have no idea how common this situation is!

So what to do?

I feel that there is a yearning in the world for Tantra, this magnificent system of self-development which embraces all aspects of life: the light, the dark and everything in between. Tantra gives us specific techniques that turn our Love and Sex Life into a sacred journey of empowerment and transformation into the best possible version of ourselves.

In Tantra we dive into it all, we open ourselves to it all. And this is how we become deeply real, deeply truthful, deeply ourselves.

Here are 3 steps:

 

1. Get into Tantra by yourself.

Contrary to common belief you don’t actually need to have a partner to practice Tantra. Many of my students start when they are single. Or they come to courses without their partner and gain HUGE results in terms of uplifting their self love and self worth, body image, understanding their own sensuality, unlocking their own orgasmic potential… to name just a few things.

Once you have awakened yourself from inside, you start radiating this new uplifted state of being. And your partner is likely to get very curious: “what is it you are doing?”

Remember this: the less you try to prove – the better.

Be quiet and let your practice and your grace speak through you. No words will be needed. Your partner will start asking you questions, so you can wait patiently and know that it will happen!

…read more here.