I AM MORE ME WHEN I’M WITH YOU

I AM MORE ME WHEN I’M WITH YOU

I’ve been reflecting on how different I am while in a relationship vs while single.

I am a split definition in Human Design, and as much as I dislike to categorise people using astrology and other systems, understanding this split thing helped me understand my personality.

[According to Human Design – a system of understanding personality, some people don’t have gaps in energy channels that connect their major energy centres, and hence their charts are referred to as single definition. Other people have a split, a double or even triple split. The people whose profile have the split (one or two) are more prone to becoming co-dependent in relationships. (Apparently, it’s totally different with triple split)]

I don’t think single definition people can ever understand this. But when you are a split… you feel more like yourself when you are with another, who bridges your split.

Like, the whole yoga is out of equation. The whole sovereignty. The whole non-attachment…

I feel more like me when I’m with you! Voila!

And that’s pretty fucked, I have to say.

Because when you’re not there… guess what happens…. all I can do is think of you.

Human Design says: that’s how you are, just accept this and relax.

Anyway, that’s the romantic story of my life (that’s if any of you thought I was a superwoman – as much as I’d like to be, I’m… not. I’m just as messed up as everyone else.)

I’m still refusing to fall victim to this (I was joking, I AM a superwoman!), and I constantly look for ways to hack the system.

Every now and then I succeed. Actually. (My students have to giggle here, I can hear you!)

It’s been my lifelong exploration: how to not get lost in love.

I‘ve developed lots of practices for that. We do heaps of them at the Priestess School. I’m going to speak on stage about these things too. But I’ll let you in on a secret.

 

The best way to not get lost in love is… to get lost in love!

…read more here.

WHY YOU MUST THRIVE

WHY YOU MUST THRIVE

Many people have a tendency to become really affected by the behaviour of their partners. For simplicity it’s called co-dependency.

So here’s a download for everyone who’s interested in shifting this old unnecessary pattern:

Your life has to be so awesome and you need to be thriving so hard that you simply are not able to get obsessed with anyone.

So find out what makes you thrive. What makes you feel that you have an epic life. And commit to doing that. Daily.

Become non negotiable in your commitment to thrive.

WHAT IS THE TANTRA THING ABOUT?

WHAT IS THE TANTRA THING ABOUT?

Most people completely misunderstand Tantra.

The misconceptions are understandable.
As soon as we open the door to sexual energy, we open the door to something incredibly powerful and incredibly intense. This intensity makes it very hard to stay on the tiger. It’s very hard to ride it without falling off of it and letting it take over.

That’s why in the past Tantric teachings were only available to select few and only after they’d spend 12 years with their Master.

I believe that time is accelerated now. Our frequency is faster, we have immense opportunities, that come to us at a much faster speed.
And the greatest of them is to awaken.

The best scenario is to arrive to sexual practices AFTER you have done a lot of work on developing your consciousness. But many people are drawn to tantra BEFORE that because they are attracted to the sexual aspect of it.

Yes, Tantra can give you a taste of pleasure beyond what you could have ever imagined.
Most people get so fascinated by this pleasure, they cannot get enough of it, it becomes a drug… You keep seeking more: more powerful experiences, more excitement, more joy… But this is what pulls you off track.

While it’s fine and even recommended to have phases of re-claiming your pleasure, of exploring your desires… it’s easy to get stuck there. And miss the point.

Through pleasure Tantra invites us way beyond pleasure.

Through fully arriving in the body, activating your senses, deeply living the human experience with ALL of its flavours (not only the pleasant, but also the challenging, painful, confusing and ugly…), we are invited to discover something profound.

In Tantra we are invited to discover the Truth of all things.
The Truth is not something changeable. The Truth is what we have to wake up to. The Truth is true essence of all things.
From the moment we see the Truth we start truly living and choosing.
Until then we are merely following our conditioned response to life, even though we may think that we act from free will.

…read more here.

CHALLENGES AND HAPPINESS

CHALLENGES AND HAPPINESS

Challenges have a purpose that is bigger than finding a way to resolve these challenges.

At times we indulge in the pain and simply sink, lower and lower…

But sooner or later there has to come a point when you realise that you are so damn challenged – there’s no way out. That’s when people start to pray. And this is beautiful. They turn to God, finally.

Where in fact we should always be turned towards God.

On the other hand, happiness tends to be more blinding. It’s easy to get lost in the happy land trying to make sure it lasts forever. At times imagining that you are still in that place even when everything is crumbling like bread in your hands.

In the phenomenal world change is inevitable.

Pain and happiness can both be intense. And with intensity we either let things escalate and flee somewhere or we burst open and recognise that everything emerges from and returns to the one Source.

Therefore, everything is Source.

The Source, like the bottom of the ocean is unaffected by the waves lapping on the surface.

The deeper you dive the less you are affected.

Or you become the bottom of the ocean, and there is no one left who can be affected.

I believe that human destiny inevitably leads to becoming the bottom of the ocean. It’s highly unlikely that it will happen to the majority of people in this lifetime. But sooner or later, it must.

We will be given challenges until we manage to stay awake in the midst of happiness.

And that is a big job, my friend.

Photo by Mikita Karasiou on Unsplash

BEFORE YOU CAME

BEFORE YOU CAME

Before you came

There were moments when I questioned whether the life I had chosen could accept you next to me, I questioned whether there was enough space for you…

I questioned and dismissed everything I’d seen modelled in the world of relationships.
I was calling you in, and then dropped it, because I thought… I was cooler than that.
I didn’t want to do anything to make things happen anymore, I wanted to surrender and to let life do whatever she wanted… and the question of whether she would manifest you or not… I didn’t want to be bothered by that.
I thought of myself as a freak and a doubtful Tantra teacher, incapable of making relationships work.
I thought of myself as someone who could not choose right, who kept imagining things about men and falling in love with their potential.
I used to be the one who’d choose her next man and make him mine even before he’d notice me.
I then became someone who was being chosen and chased and inevitably submitted to the predator: I’d just fall for the warmth and attention.
I then surrendered all of the above, gave away the need to seduce, and to be seduced… It felt really empty without seduction games for a while. Then I arrived at peace, and stayed celibate for many months.
I thought I couldn’t trust my choices, so it was better to let them go completely.
I wondered if I’d already missed my real soulmate.
…read more here.
TANTRA, PLEASURE AND TRUTH

TANTRA, PLEASURE AND TRUTH

Most people completely misunderstand Tantra.

Including those who have practiced with authentic carriers of this ancient wisdom.

The misconceptions are understandable.
As soon as we open the door to sexual energy, we open the door to something incredibly powerful and incredibly intense. This intensity makes it very hard to stay on the tiger. It’s very hard to ride it without falling off of it and letting it take over.
That’s why in the past Tantric teachings were only available to a select few and only after they’d spent 12 years with their Master.

I believe that time is accelerating now. Our frequency is faster, we have immense opportunities, and they come to us at a much faster speed.

And the greatest of them is to awaken.

The best scenario is to arrive to sexual practices AFTER you have done a lot of work on developing your consciousness. But many people are drawn to Tantra BEFORE that because they are attracted to the sexual aspect of it.

Yes, Tantra can give you a taste of pleasure beyond what you could have ever imagined.
Most people get so fascinated by this pleasure, they cannot get enough of it, it becomes a drug… You keep seeking more: more powerful experiences, more excitement, more joy…

But this is what pulls you off track.

While it’s fine and even recommended to have phases of re-claiming your pleasure, of exploring your desires… it’s easy to get stuck there. And miss the point.

…read more here.